Saturday, August 25, 2012

Vague memories

In the last couple months I have started have vague memories of being raped by my grandfather while in counseling. (So, is there a way to hurry up the healing.) This is the man that family has thought of as one of the nice people in the world and in my mind he was also. Now that I know whom it was that (maybe first) raped me is changing but there is forgiveness and anger. It's not why did he do it but why me?

What hell I do to deserve it? What does God have planned for me in that He would allow me to go through something so horrible? There must be something great for all the suffering that I have gone through.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Feeling kind of blue. Up my Lexapro (8/03) to 15mg hoping to feel more. Feel something is still missing.