Lost

I lost a battle with myself yesterday and had sex with someone online. It was boring and I didn't get anything out it but some pleasure of know she was enjoying it. But, what about me, why can't I enjoy for myself? Today I'm blank no real feelings. Feel like lost Mercy to her DID and don't know what to do. Karin, doesn't seem to want to talk to me since she started talking to Mercy. I have I done something wrong to women recently? I head is so messed up right now.

I'm connected with guys so that I can hopeful short-circuit this sex thing. Connecting with Mikey more and that is good and Tim is help pull me do. Talked to my sponsor today not sure if he understands me but I staying connected to him and that is best thing for me to do.