I remember as an early teen living in Oklahoma w/my Dad and step-mom, even the year or so before being a teen. I was alone no one was really allowed over and I was allowed really to go anywhere. It's seem bad when you think about being that age and have to play w/imagery friends. I run around the yard or ride the mini-bike to avoid being in the house.

I hate not being able to have anyone I can real rely on. I know that I can rely on Jesus but it would be nice to have a person whom I can count on. I know that everyone lets us down once in a while but I like to have someone more reliable.

Lack of consteration

I have been having trouble consternating and my psychologist thinks that it might be something I learned as a kid. As in having to be hypersensitive of what was going on around as a way to survive. I remember as a kid laying in bed real still to hear if there was sexual sounds from my parents. Up until last few years everytime I would lose consternation it seemed to always involve sex in some way. I don't remember doing it when I lived in California w/Mom & Jim but after I moved to Oklahoma w/Dad & Debbie.