since of self

My therapist wants me to write about what I remember and about how I'm doing. What I think I have discovered today is that I am afraid to write. Fear of just being nothing and writing about myself will show that to be true.

I know I have all the signs of being sexually abused but can't remember when. What did that person take from me. I want to be able to know what I am feeling most of the time, the part that let's me know myself. I am angry because I can't remember who or when and that is part of me. It's not a pleasant part of my life but it is part of it. Being able to remember it and feel what happened to me will allow me to feel myself today.

I want to be able to go through life and remember my life. I tired of feeling blank and my life feeling blank. I have been given the gift of being told that I have been of value to others recently, even last night.

I ready to be able to function like I want. To be able to write and sing. The thing with singing is that I can't remember songs. I want to find value in myself all the time. I have noticed that recently I have felt it but is fling.

My life is worth something!