Sad

Feeling sad but not sure why. Feeling some need to control what my girlfriend does but know that I can't. I want to feel like I matter, that I am noticed. Feeling like nothing I do really matter again. I hate this feeling because I know that it is true but it feels so real and true. There's got to be a way  make it go away forever.

How does one get beyond this and what sexual abuse have to do with it? I tried to read something about 200 men standing up that were abused and I couldn't. There has to be a way to remember the past so I can get past it.