Boredom

Talked with my sponsor last night about my acting out with pron. I deserved that boredom is a form of spiritual rebellion, which part it is lack of gratitude. I can feel it effecting me already but sure yet how to combat it. I am using prayer at this time to combat it. I will have to see what happens when temptation with pron comes. But, there is an excitement inside about the future.

I also realized after I got off the phone that there might be some jealousy that Vicki is still getting to use and I'm not. That would account for some of the rebellion. Not that there is anything that using really holds out to me that I want. However, the idea that I could run away from life in a different way does kind of appeal to me. I guess I'll call Ernest today and talk about it.