A double bad

I had an experience with a cousin that is about 5 or 6 years younger than me. I was messing around her in sexual way off and on about a year around the age of 12. One day we were playing a playing a game of Monopoly and she took one of my hotels and run off to the couch and put it between her legs. I went to get and then we started kissing for some reason and I pulled her pants down. I think my pants were down too. Her brother caught us and told our parents. My step-mom accused me of trying to raise her to be my whore.

It felt like she wanted me to. Over the year I knew that it was wrong but wanted to play and see if I could get her off like in the magazines I had read. She was willing and I did some at the lake. But the last when caught we had done again in a long and felt like she was leading me on. I felt like it was time to do something different. I don't think that I had ever had my pants down before and she had never really seen me. I want to see what it would like to be touch by her and maybe see if I could get in.

I felt betrayed by my family. Felt like they were trying to make me someone bad. Like I was the only bad person in the family. I understand I knew better but it still like they could of talked me nicer. As far as I know they never talked to her and did want to her what happened. I understand that is was wrong but what about her and what they said to me.