hurting and learning

I'm hurting today because of the pain I caused my online girlfriend. We are trying to define what health sex is. It is difficult enough to do when you are together and having physical sex but online sex is worse. There is much to do together so that sex isn't topic subject on my mind. I was helping someone else for about 18 months, a woman, with sex therapy but the mistake was that I didn't focus on making sure other things were talked about. I wish I knew more about her but I'm not sure we can really talk now. I was sharing in a meeting today and she said hi and then left, it hurt more than if she hadn't said anything. I fucking hate the way it hurts because it's not her fault it's mine. Something can't be put back together but I hope we can still be good friends in the future. Part of the pain is that I have an online girlfriend and that seems to make the gap between us worse. I trying to give her the space she needs.

My online girlfriend finally got a sponsor yah but then my sexual addiction pressures her and she starts using hard again. I know that it is her choice but me pressuring makes it easier for her to keep using. We are working on staying honest about what is going on. Being in love with someone online that is in a different country make it difficult but not impossible.