3 weeks until trip

In three weeks I'll be in England to see my girlfriend. There is alot of excitement and fear about it. I'm sure that alot of the fears are normal. It's the normal fears of the first date, even though we have been together for nearly a year and half. But, wow it's so exciting just to think about.

How does one prepare for this kind of trip? I'm going somewhere I have never been and the only person I really know there is my girlfriend. She never been in a relationship before and she is scared because she doesn't know what to expect. She has a valid fear of losing her privacy. She still uses drugs and I am clean. So, we both are concerned about those issues but we will never know until I get there.

Nothing I can say can calm her down. But, this week she has relaxed some and is more excited than scared. Because, she is more relaxed I feel more relax. It was funny how she had the change happen, I got upset because she said she was going stay home with me and then a mate called her and she left for a hour. I got upset before she left and flew off the handle. She said that when I did she started giggling and the good thing was that I did hear her. When she got home though she was the most comfortable with me than she has been since probably Nov. She had said that before she left that her feeling for me hadn't been as strong as they once were and then when she got home they were strong again. I said that feeling come and go but love is more of a decision than a feeling. And that there are lot of times that my feelings are very strong but I know that my love for her is as strong as before.

Sex online isn't as good as physical but ours has been better than any I have ever had. Since Nov. sex has been kind of feeling awkward but when she got home on Tuesday it was great again. She kind of afraid that I will want to do it all the time when I get there but I keep telling her that it's not going to be that way. I also I have said that it love making not sex; because, sex sounds more like a sport than something a couple would do. I told her that I would be willing to try not to expect it when I get there and she said that she will want it. She said that fear has lessen since Tuesday and it is great to know that I don't have to do or say anything to help her feel different about it.

Relationships are hard enough when you are with the other person physically but online does make it more difficult. However, online relationship do make you focus more on communication than the physical part. I feel that is great part of our relationship. One of the most difficult parts for us is learning that it is ok to be quiet while together online, for me it is like since we are online we need to talk or something. I think that is one of the benefits of being together physically is that it is more comfortable about being quiet. Like if you are sitting in the same room each feels comfortable enough being quiet and can do other things.