WTF

I still feel like I am not really heard. When my girlfriend tells me she is going out drinking it's like she expects me to say great have a great time, not! Then I have a girl friend that doesn't believe in God and got upset with 12 Step Programs for seemingly telling her she had to get on board. So, when I talked about or rant about my God she tells there no God so get on board, WTF! I tell my family that I don't want to go and down something and they say come it will be fun, like you going rather you want to or not. I go Al-anon and they say that it not their place to tell someone what to do with their alcoholic but they seem to think ok to tell to leave my girlfriend.

I understand that some of it is just the way I feel but WTF! Does maturity make that feeling lessen? How does detachment work without having leave the relationship? I know that Vicki, my girlfriend, very is in love with and cares for me, just wish that weakened the pain. I know that Mercy and Crew is a great friend and the only person that I know of that has been willing to work through painful things in our friendship.

However, I really love Vicki and I never wanted to lose her. I have told her that there is only two reasons that we wouldn't make it: she ends it or the pain of her using get too great. I wish I could guarantee but life doesn't allow for that. Feelings are so fucking crazy and like right I don't like them.