Taking time for Jesus

Things in my relationship with Vicki have kind of stalled. I have decided to take a week off to focus on what Christ wants for us and most importantly me. She has things she needs to think about; however, I acknowledge that we spend so much time together that we can do what we need. I know that I have probably gotten caught up in trying to fix the relationship instead of trust Him to heal it. I am grateful to know that He can if I will let Him.
This time doesn't mean that I love her any less, quite the opposite. Love is scary enough when it is people that are clean but she not clean so for her there is alot to consider. To be honest, I am thinking what if she doesn't get clean could I stand being with her. Jesus has a plan for this relationship and I am not Him so I don't what it is. I know that Jesus will help me find my proper place if I let Him.
Today is one of those days where trust and obey are glaring me in the face and I am angry because of it. I know that I need this week with Jesus Christ but I am not totally glad, wow, it crazy to think that He says I can say that without worry. Christ is telling me that my relationship with Vicki has helped me grow emotionally more than any other relationship in all my life. He says that people think that meeting their soulmate is to mean there is no major issues to work through. A real soulmate will do more to shape us into what Jesus saw us to be when He created us.
A soulmate if one is willing will do more to help with Step 2 than anything else. One thing that I just noticed in my own thoughts is that I want to be allowed to be a kid. I want to be able to go back and have the childhood that I missed out on. I was never really allowed to do much to get into trouble. I would like to be able to do the stupid fun things most kids seem to be able do. The good thing is that I really don't want to get stuck there.